Friendship

In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets. Now that Charles [a good friend to Lewis and Tolkien] is dead, I shall never again see Ronald’s [Tolkien] reaction to a specifically Charles joke. For from having more of Ronald, having him “to myself” now that Charles is away, I have less of Ronald… In this, Friendship exhibits a glorious “nearness by resemblance” to heaven itself where the very multitude of the blessed (which no man can number) increases the fruition which each of us has of God. For every soul, seeing Him in her own way, doubtless communicates that unique vision to all the rest. (from CS Lewis’ essay entitled “Friendship.”)

I read this in Tim Keller's The Prodigal God. Spending time with friends and friends last night was amazing. It's funny, even animals can bring out things in people that wouldn't be as clear without them. My one regret last night was not coming together in prayer. At all. I love praying with friends. I love hearing hearts talk to our Heavenly Father. I don't like praying aloud because I'm so aware of the people in the room, perhaps almost always more aware of them than God, whom I'm trying to talk to. I was afraid of "ruining" my friend's time, and taking responsibility for that. I'm afraid of the "goody-goody" accuzation, possibly most. But I think prayer helps to set hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. I've been more hesitant to jump the gun on things that I think are good ideas, but I think it was the Holy Spirit putting that idea on my heart last night, not just me own. I'm thankful that I don't gain or lose points-there are no points for my failures, or successes as far as I know, or in a way that I could understand. I think I did rob myself and many others of joy that could have been had last night, by not doing what I ought to have done.

Prayer is one way to see God through different perspectives, like in C.S. Lewis's friendship essay. Playing fun games and chillin' is another way to see that, and I think prayer helps me get my heart right as I play Apples to Apples and eat delicious pizza. OR listen to music. I have to be careful to see the Grace in other's lives, and not just sin. I tend to see grace, and point out sin that would make the grace more evident. Which isn't helpful without that explaination at all. If Paul can say

I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus, that in every way you were enriched in Him in all speech and all knowledge-- even as teh testimony about Christ was confirmed among you-- so that you are not lackign in any spiritual gift, as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, by whom you were called into fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. - 1 Corinthians 1:4-9

I am fearful that everybody else is doing better spiritually than I am, and so don't want to bring up anything, because I'll feel ashamed. But aren't I supposed to walk in the light? Now I have guys to talk to about deep struggles. There are some girls who I can share things with that I wouldn't just share with everybody, but I think there are things that I should be sharing with during random parties for - my daily struggle to love Jesus as my treasure. By God's grace I'm going to work on this, but I'm still going to try to do it in a wiser way, which usually means I need to close my mouth more often, and listen more, while keeping in mind things above.

I just read in Spiritual Depression by David Martyn Lloyd-Jones this morning that he loves the Disciples, because they mess up again and again, and he can relate to that. I am amening that. I'm noticing a quite similarity with the Israelites too as I read the old testament.

Fighting for joy in Jesus,
Scotty